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eating and other fun [Jan. 12th, 2013|09:19 pm]
So I've been vomiting for the last few days (and this has been going on for 3 months), and today I vomited 9 times! My wife took me into the ER and I had my blood tested. The doc said everything was "perfect", no liver issues or kidney issues or any other kinds of issues. Thank God for that. But he did give me some anti-nausea tablets that will hopefully help with the vomiting. The doc said the vomiting could be caused by a number of different things.

I quit my desk job and now have two part-time jobs that will pay well enough for now. I start school on Monday.

Hopefully I'm not over-doing it. I know God will provide for the things that I lack, financially and other-wise.

Please comment!
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today [Jan. 8th, 2013|01:41 pm]
I had lunch at Chevy's today after sleeping in with Jill until about 11:40. It was nice even though I feel really tired now (at work). I don't know if anyone is reading this. The Chevy's lunch was steak fajitas that I split with Jill. I wish I wasn't so stressed out and tired. I think it's the medications that make me so tired. I'm down to 2 instead of 3 pills at night but I still feel tired. It's tiring being so tired so much.

There are customers in the store looking around and talking to each other but it doesn't look like thehy're going to buy anything.
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John Locke, Concerning Civil Government [Dec. 31st, 2012|03:50 pm]
John Locke, a British thinker, gave the United States its constitution and form of government. There are direct quotes in the Declaration of Independence from Locke's essay, including "When a train of abuses....etc" about the king of England during the Revolution in American, and "the right to life, liberty, and private property," which was reinterpreted by Jefferson in the Declaration, "Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

I watched that Will Smith movie "The Pursuit of Happyness" in which Will Smith proceeded to try to explain why Jefferson said the "pursuit" of happiness, meaning maybe happiness is something that is never really attained to and rather merely pursued all ones life until one dies.

Locke referred to a "law of Nature" or a "law of God" that gave men rights and liberties by "nature" and not imposed on them by governments or rulers. These liberties included enacting governments that included different branches, the most important being the law-making branch or legislative. This legislative branch should make laws that pursue the good of the common people and protect the rights of the commonwealth or community.

In the end, Locke says that if no appeal can be made to rulers or governments by those inflicted by unjust parties, then appeal should be made to Heaven. That God, the ruler and judge of all, should be appealed to for the making right of grievances done by rulers and ruled alike.
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Elections tomorrow [Nov. 5th, 2012|10:13 pm]
Well, I've got it all figured out who I'm voting for and I hope Romney wins. If he doesn't our country is in trouble. Not only financially but morally and spiritually we are going to go even further downhill.

I'm voting mostly Republican for the prop's and voting yes on prop 30 and 38 because even more teachers are going to be losing their jobs if 30 and 38 are not put through. My parents are teachers and many of my good friends either are teachers or have parents who are teachers. So my vote is to keep teachers in the schools who can tough it out.
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New journey [Oct. 4th, 2012|09:01 pm]
So I'm sitting here listening to Dr John Mark Reynolds lecture on ancient Greek Philosophy and culture and he talks about the cult of Delphi verses Philosophy (mostly Plato and Aristotle).

I'm thinking about that lecture as well as thinking about the dinner I had tonight, a wonderful cobb salad prepared by my wife and I. She boiled the eggs and I cut up all the veggies and made a nice dressing. Now my wife is talking to me about how much she loves me and everything she has to get done tomorrow. Yikes!

I work tomorrow from 11 - 4 at a music store. I just got hired there a week ago! So excited.

Did you know the West is more an idea rather than a location? The ideas found in a lot of the Western Canon, the classical writings from the last 2,500 years, is what makes up the West, according to this Reynolds lecture.

Very interesting. Please comment.
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Almost October [Sep. 28th, 2012|04:43 pm]
I have been sitting and reading a lot today. It is helpful to know people are reading my entries because then I don't feel alone. I never feel alone anymore because I have a wife, but it is nice to have readers of my blog who interact with me.

I am currently reading Machiavelli's "The Prince" and "The Great Conversation" by Robert M. Hutchins. I have read "The Great Conversation" several times and each time I read it it gets more interesting. I want to read John Dewey's "Democracy and Education" but haven't yet got around to it. I think it is on my shelf somewhere. I really enjoy intelligent writing, which I find in great books. I am working my way through a 10-year reading list and am still on the first year. I've been there for about 6 years now. HA! I am finally making some progress on my own. I used to read Plato a lot with an educated friend of mine but he moved to Japan and so it has been hard to dialogue since he is in the air force.

I really like the movie "Julie and Julia" with Merryl Streep and Amy Adams. Amy Adams plays Julie Powell and she blogs in the movie about receipes from Julia Child's cook book. It really is a cute movie and well-made.

I think that's it for now. Will blog more in the future. Keep reading and commenting!
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Married life [Sep. 2nd, 2012|12:32 pm]
Well, I just got married on July 28th this year. It is wonderful!
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unprepared entry [Jan. 7th, 2010|01:51 pm]
I'm dealing with a lot of negative thoughts, especially for the first 4 hours when I wake up in the morning (8am - 12 pm) which is when I finally get up. Typically from 10-12 I am awake and I do not get up because I feel soooo tired. I also have this tick that I've wanted to go away and have asked the LORD to remove from me. He has not removed the schizophrenia nor the tick. I often think about how I am still single and am doomed to be single for the rest of my life. I feel like a black cloud is hovering over my head, keeping me from pushing through the typical morning moodiness, but it usually takes anywhere from 2 to 4 hours.

My self-education regarding schizophrenia is very limited but I keep looking at youtube videos and reading books I can find on the topic. This video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4R6jln_eZg&feature=related seems rather helpful.

I often dread going to my teaching class because I feel unprepared and like I don't know what is going on at times. My wish is to find others with the same problem and to always be around people as much as I can, which is really difficult. Some people who have had the disease for much longer than I, look like the guy in this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnoTwOUb0aQ&feature=related, but I do not do that or look like that.. even though I was homeless.
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update [Dec. 31st, 2009|03:14 pm]
I am really not sure what to write on today. I have to teach piano in 30 minutes, it's across the street, but I wanted to get some ideas down on "paper" to wrestle with for the rest of the day.

I don't see how researching the illness that I have could be detrimental in anyway, though some have told me not to think about it and to stick my head in the sand.. That seems like an unfruitful thing to do. Besides both my parents support me and find those comments a bit odd. What I have been doing is trying to find information on the illness/disease that may contribute important insights into what is actually going on with me. It took a really long time for me to finally find out what was wrong with me, and now that I know, I can take appropriate steps and set appropriate goals to help me know how to cope with what I have. This illness, schizophrenia, has many symptoms and it seems that everyone I'm close to knows about them. The chief one being a sort of paranoia accompanied by depression and acute anxiety (acute or chronic). Also an inability or a lack of caring regarding taking care of hygiene. Mostly remembering to shower and wash my clothes. Ew.

I called in sick today because I was feeling really bad like I couldn't stand up due to, possibly, something that is going around. Winter flu bug, maybe. I'm sure I'll get better soon, but the schizophrenia is going to be with me the rest of my life. Thankfully there's hope for me and others like me. Lots of hope to control the symptoms.

I am reading on Galileo and Descartes. I don't remember much of what I read, but helpful insights seem to come back at appropriate times or times when I need them. Prayer is helpful. Questioning God's purpose in all of this seems to be my chief communication with God, I probably could use some good or better prayers than the ones I've been using recently.

In His Grace,
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update [Dec. 22nd, 2009|01:54 pm]
It's december 22 and I have yet to think of what I'm doing for Christmas. I guess Christmas shopping is happening tomorrow.. I don't even know. Terrible. !

Well, to update on my mental health, I hear less voices and am only seeing hallucinations every once in a while, thanks to the medicine that is replenishing what my body lacks or needs. I am grateful to you, meds! I am reading several books, The Silver Chair, Change Your Brain, Change Your Life (Daniel Amen), Ender's Game (Card), and a kids' book that resembles Narnia a tiny bit, but has a similar premise, that you can transport yourself to different worlds through this particular thing (don't know what it's called), and find yourself in different places simply by walking through it. Kind of like Harry Potter too, I guess. British Fantasy I suppose you could call it.

The one thing that is really getting on my nerves is that I'll discover a piece of writing I did laying around my house and it will make me upset because, one, I don't remember writing it, and two, I completely disagree with the main premises or it is so upsetting I have to throw it away. These are all symptoms of schizophrenia, I guess. I do not mind sharing about my mental illness because the more I write about it the better handle I get on it.

Happy holidays! to all
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